Something Staggering and the Most Beautiful Post-Christmas Sight Ever

My only race of the year

Even though I say it myself, I am staggering – and I say this with 100% conviction. I proved it on 27^th December when I decided to start the New Year with the New Me. Okay – so it wasn’t actually New Year but I couldn’t really wait until the auspicious date itself and, given that apparently most people abandon any New Year Resolutions by the end of January, avoiding said date didn’t seem much of a problem. Needless to say, the decision to start my new-life followed a very low day on the 26^th.

            I gave away my bathroom scales some months ago when I recognised that, having reached the state of weighing myself twice daily in a desperate attempt to understand any fluctuations and/or see if I had lost weight that day by abstaining from my mid-morning toast, I was indeed desperate. Or deranged. I’d read that you should weigh yourself no more than weekly – perhaps even less than that – but I understood myself enough to realise that I would never avoid the lure of the scales were they to continue to reside in my house, so I gave them to my sister. I can now weigh myself weekly (though admittedly no longer naked and first thing in the morning when I’m certain I weigh my least) and my sister is beginning to revel in the delights of my former addiction (though I don’t think she’s reached the twice daily stage – yet). So it was that, scaleless – and having avoided the lure of my sister’s scales for several weeks – I came to dress on the 26^th and found that, despite an extensive wardrobe, nothing would fit. Seemingly, my now sedentary life as a professional (though currently unpaid) writer and my eschewing of most forms of exercise (barring the occasional mile-swim or yoga lesson) over the December period had finally led to a weight gain of preposterous levels. Given the unpaid nature of my work, buying new clothes was out of the question. The only answer was to recognise that my new profession inherently means less calories consumed in day-to-day work and, having fully recovered from my November ill-health, I should really be exercising much, much more.

            It was December 27^th then, that I realised just how staggering I am. Or certainly was that morning when I staggered round the 6km run which is one of my local favourites, all the while berating myself – shouting at my rather larger than usual shadow and lamenting the pitiful slowness with which I tackled the hills. This is the woman who scaled Tower 42 in February 2010, conquered London Marathon for the second time in April 2010, completed three triathlons in summer 2010 and did the Great North Bike Ride in September of the same year. To be fair I tackled only one race in the whole of 2011 and found myself driving to work with my bike in the back of the car most of that year – going out on feeble 15 milers after work (if the weather permitted) – if I’m honest the only staggering thing (apart from my ludicrous, stumbling gate as I forced myself round my ex-rave run) was that I hadn’t gathered what was happening earlier.

            However, even the most troublesome run can transform itself into the most beautiful. My favourite lane – the part after the killer hill – is always tranquil and that morning it was full of winter beauty. And the best bit – my weakened state meant I became more aware of my surroundings, had more time to take in the noise of the birds singing in the trees – and therefore tuned into the sound of a chicken being unceremoniously strangled on a beautiful Tuesday morning. Hmmm? Unusual, I thought.

Given that any excuse to stop was highly welcomed, I stopped and peered – cautiously – through the gap in the hedge. Sure enough, I was faced with a field of chickens – though none of them appeared in anyway distressed by the intense and rather peculiar gobbling sound that I could hear. And then I saw it – the most blessed post-Christmas sight of my life – a turkey, beautiful, resplendent, regal – proudly strutting, in fact commandeering the field of chickens – head held high. I could go on (but I shan’t) and indeed I took a long time enjoying the welcome break from running and this wonderful sight. The post-Christmas turkey. The one that got away.

            I’ll be back tomorrow with some of my latest recipes – all healthy but extremely tasty.

Muck for Luck

Diwali at the Shiv Niwas

The beginning of Advent always reminds me of our time in India. We were in Udaipur through Diwali (the Hindu festival of light) and it was a magical time. In the days preceding, people decorated the outsides of their houses with Rangoli patterns of coloured powders and filled every windowsill, nook and cranny with earthenware pots burning oils and candles. The streets were filled with fairy lights and garlands and the newspapers were full of stories about the dangers of illegal fireworks – not only were they made without regard to Health and Safety and liable to explode in your face but they were generally made by hand by children paid pitiful wages (or no wages at all) and then sold on the streets to anyone who had a spare rupee.

            Most evenings we ate at small cafes or at street stalls and always had wonderful food but the posters for the Shiv Niwas Hotel’s Gala dinner caught our eye and we decided to treat ourselves and booked a table. I bought a new Salwar Kameez for the occasion and we took a leisurely evening stroll through the crowded streets to work up an appetite for our meal.

            Now cows are sacred in India so it is not unusual to walk the streets and have to make way for a rust coloured bovine barging its way along the pavement and this was just the case on Diwali night as well only that night many of the cows had garlands around their horns where revellers had shared their decorations with the beasts – a mark of respect I think. The early evening had brought everyone out to enjoy the festivities, take in the twinkling lights and cower from the illegal fireworks. We both had huge grins – from the infectious excitement, the beautiful lights and the prospect of a very posh meal and we walked along in the melee, holding hands and lingering round gift and trinket stalls. Taking our time till we went to the Gala.

Diwali celebrations in Udaipur!

            And then I felt a new sensation – a warm, wet sensation that crept between the toes of my right foot, oozing under the straps of my dainty sandal. I think I must have made some kind of audible expression of surprise or distaste as the crowd parted, duly revealing my foot. Or rather a couple of toes sticking out from the thick, greeny-brown swathes of cow muck – and judging from the warmth, this was fresh cow muck!

            At once I was the centre of attention – a kindly stall holder found me some newspaper, another brought a bowl of water and one way or another we got my foot reasonably clean – all the while being assured that this was in fact lucky. Auspicious. Something I could be pleased about. Indeed, many passers-by commented that I would undoubtedly come into money (now that’s something you like to hear when you’re on a year’s backpacking).

            We made it to the gala dinner with only a faint hind of aroma and a pale tinge of green. And, as the dinner was taking place in the pool garden, lit by candles and fairy lights, there was little chance of anyone spotting the offending foot anyway. The meal was great, we splashed out on gin and tonic before our beer (we could not bring ourselves to pay for the wine) and enjoyed the festivities whilst listening to the conversations of rich Indian families. Finally, we came to the prize draw. It turned out every person there had had their name placed in a hat and there was a table with three beautiful Diwali hampers, packed with sweet treats, ornaments and other goodies. There was great anticipation in the crowd as the waiters and maître d’ managed to make the event as exciting as an X-Factor final. And who should be drawn out first?

            Me – of course – so the muck really was for luck. Second place went to a lovely lady on the opposite side of the pool and then, third place was drawn and it was Rob! Now I hadn’t thought there was so much slurry but there you go. Being kind-hearted souls and also backpackers (would you want to carry two hampers round the world?) we asked them to draw again for third place. But we took my winning hamper back to our room, picked a couple of souvenirs to take with us on our travels and left the rest for the hotel maid.

            A perfect Diwali.

Now for some food, this is a lovely quick recipe that’s full of Omega 3s, very flavoursome and also very cheap (especially if you grow your own free-range eggs).

Recipe: Sardines with home-made Alioli

Inspired by: loads of chefs – but I like Gary Rhodes’ measurements for mayo

Ingredients:

Sardines          (I bought fillets this time as they were on offer but I wouldn’t again – they were badly filleted and full of bones – if you cook the fish whole it’s easy to remove the bones afterwards).

2 x egg yolks

2 or 3 garlic cloves, peeled, chopped and crushed with a pinch of coarse salt

150ml extra virgin olive oil

150ml sunflower oil

Vinegar or lemon juice (I judge this based on what I’m serving it with)

Dijon mustard (optional in Alioli)

Salad ingredients to serve

Here’s What I Do: Put the egg yolks in a bowl and add the mustard, garlic, vinegar or lemon juice, blending to a paste (for these quantities I start with a tablespoon of vinegar or a whole lemon and a teaspoon of Dijon). Start to add the oils (you can mix these in a jug) a little at a time and beat with a balloon whisk (I used to use my food processor but it doesn’t take long to make by hand and is very therapeutic). When you’re about 2/3 of the liquid through, start to taste the alioli and adjust the flavourings as you like. You may not use all the oil (choose the consistency as you prefer), equally you may want more garlic or more acid (lemon/vinegar). When you have a lovely mix, put it in the fridge till you’re ready (if you have a sterile jar available it should keep a week (two weeks without the garlic). Next prepare your salad and carbohydrates (I served this with new potatoes but it’s also nice with beerbread). Lastly grill your sardines (if you’re using whole ones you may like to stuff the cavities with some herbs and slices of lemon.