The Pigs are Escaping (is it the smell of our Sunday roast?)...

Having had our two new additions for over a week we decided it was time to let them roam around more. Still in a restricted area of course – we need to know they can find their way home and obviously we don’t want them getting too adventurous and going digging up neighbours’ gardens (as two unruly previous pigs did)! Yesterday morning then, we opened the gate to the pen and let them have access to the old vegetable plot and also a large stretch of very exciting rough land (well I think it is exciting if you’re either very small – like the size of a Borrower or a pig).

            Now I’m not sure whose idea it was (although Pig maintains it was all down to The Reverend) but around 2pm I was alerted to the fact that something was amiss by the noise from my hens. This wasn’t the hysterical alarm calls that warn of a fox visit but nevertheless they warranted inspection. Just as I got outside I caught sight of The Reverend tiptoeing past my greenhouse with Pig close behind and they certainly were not supposed to be there.

            Knowing a little bit about swine and having already become close friends with Ezekiel and Pig I quickly grabbed some pig nuts and encouraged the beasts to come to me – which they duly did, nibbling my toes along with the food and leaving some nice smears of mud on my legs (which I understand is good for my skin). My plan was to keep luring them steadily back to their allotted area via the use of tasty pig food.

            And it would have worked…

            Bar for the fact that The Reverend is clearly a rather unruly and adventurous soul and not at all worried about dashing off to pastures new even if it means leaving Pig to snaffle all the food. Before I knew what was happening The Rev was off up the lane, bound speedily for my father in law’s farm – luckily The Rev had turned left instead of right at the end of our drive. Now my pigs were separated and I had to try and round up Pig single-handedly whilst all the while looking out for The Reverend and hoping to capture him on his return, lest he should dive off down the village and wreak havoc.

            Luckily Rob returned and was able to laugh (encouragingly?) at me as I tried to shepherd a reluctant Pig back to her quarters whilst darting nervous glances up the lane in anticipation of either a violent clamour and/or the return of The Reverend (for I felt sure she would return, given the presence of two large and violent looking – though they are in fact very loving – German Shepherds in the farm yard).

            It wasn’t long before I was proved correct, out of the corner of my eye I spied a movement about 400 metres up the lane – and it was approaching fast. Now I don’t know how much my darlings weigh but I can tell you that when they nudge me for food in the mornings it is with some great force and when standing on their hind legs they can get their feet to my shoulder height – so they’re not small or lightweight that’s for sure. The sight of one of these beasts running downhill towards you at great speed is definitely a cause for concern and it is testament to my considerable farming skills that I was able to maintain my position, attempting to block any further passage downhill without diving for cover behind the nearest fence.

            In the end we got them both back in their new garden and managed to block up their last exit point.

            Today all I have to worry about is sunburn.

            And they can forget about Sunday Roast for at least another week…