I do, I admitted it to Rob one afternoon in Tesco – to approving nods
from other shoppers. I especially like it when I get to the bumps but I believe
this makes Rob feel sick. And also he says I shouldn’t talk about it in public –
apparently people can get the wrong idea.
I don’t think I’m alone
in saying that there are few better delights than going to the local park and
enjoying the feeling of lightness and giddiness that rapidly takes over when
you get on a swing and swing. I learnt from a young age, thanks to a wonderful
Dad who was great at physics, how to propel myself backwards and forwards with
nothing but the use of my legs and no need for a ‘pusher’ in sight. I had to
learn this because my Grandad (a keen bowler) would take me to the park on our
fortnightly visits and leave me at the swings whilst he went and partook in a
game of bowls. Yes I was only four and yes he was out of sight but nothing ever
went wrong and I had a fabulous time. And learned to swing. And learned to be
brave, have initiative and think for myself. And countless other skills that
are sadly being forgotten as today’s youngsters are chaperoned everywhere,
cushioned from falls and haven’t even heard of the bumps never mind tried
jumping off when one reaches them.
Anyway, one of the best
things about nieces is being able to take them to the park so that I can enjoy
the delights of (almost) weightlessness. Sadly, as my nieces have grown and
progressed to the big swings and, since most parks are equipped with only two
of the big swings, I do now have to wait my turn on the swing but I still get
to enjoy the moment at least a couple of times a month. And my sister gets sick
as she watches my dizzying heights and hopes that her lovely daughters won’t
ever learn how to be just so skilled at the art of propelling oneself upwards
and outwards on two pieces of chain and a plank of rubber.
I can get to the bumps
(the point where you leave the seat and your arms and the chain make a kind of
snapping motion) in seconds and, according to my ever optimistic and equally
competitive elder niece, so can she – but actually I am going higher, faster
and better than she. And she doesn’t know how to access my blog so she can’t
argue.
But there are things I
can no longer do – my teenage years were spent on a whole range of parks
seemingly trying to beat the laws of gravity by propelling oneself and one’s
friends in a multitude of ways. I’ve jumped off roundabouts as they speed round
at 30mph and flown 100s of metres through the air as I let go of the swing
right at the top of the bumps and I never so much as stubbed a toe. But can I
do it now? No. Instead my knuckles whiten as I secure my grip on the swing and
I can’t even manage to get the roundabout travelling so fast never mind let go
of it.
And thinking of things
I can’t do – my niece spent 30 minutes trying to teach me how to knee-skid last
week and the most I can manage is some kind of feeble, half-hearted affair on
one knee. If I were planning to propose to someone (it is a leap-year) then I
guess it could be useful but, as it is, I just look like some kind of
scaredy-cat-chicken who daren’t give-in to the slide. Peter Kay can do it (and
he’s got to weigh a bit more than me) and Bruce Springsteen isn't afraid; so if they can cope without damaging their kneecaps
what is holding me back? Surely I’m not turning into a Grown-Up?
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