I cleaned my house yesterday - I do this once a year whether it needs it of not...

The new layout

I find the whole thing mainly therapeutic though there are problems. I like the sweat I work up as I manhandle the settee, removing every cushion so that I can thump it, plump it, turn it and hoover it before replacing it in a new position. My settee is huge – one of those round-the-corner affairs manufactured round an English beech frame and with two large base cushions (each about as tall as me) and eleven smaller cushions (which make the backs and sides) in varying sizes and patterns. By the time I’ve done all this and pulled the whole thing away from the wall to clean behind and beneath it I’m generally ready for some food and a drink – a stiff drink. But that’s only the start – I still have the rest of the house to clean.

            I usually like to change the furniture round on these days – it’s good to have some lasting proof that I’ve cleaned and also it makes it feel like you’re in a new house. It’s at this point that I remember why I try not to clean too much – it’s just so destructive, murderous almost. I adore spiders, they hold no fear for me and I think they should be held in esteem along with all wildlife. I admit they can be dangerous – I was bitten by one in 1991 and it drew blood, but that’s because I sat on it (I didn’t do this purposely mind) and the poor thing was frightened for its life. Despite this one bad encounter I otherwise enjoy their company and Rob and I have fond memories of befriending a number of eight-legged creatures over the years. Like the one that set up home in Rob’s tractor when we lived in France. That was huge and it was great fun to watch it at work in its web. I think it was less fun for the flies that Rob would catch and throw into the web so that we could witness nature at work but flies are filthy animals (to misquote from Tarantino).

            So yesterday I was, as usual, disturbed to move my pine box, thinking it would look good under a different window (it did actually), and find that the whole of the backside of said box had become home to a colony of spiders. There were no less than eleven huge spider nests there, along with webs of varying sizes and a host of spider debris. Relocating the box meant cleaning it and thereby destroying hundreds of baby spiders, their homes and wrecking their families. That is unless spiders can live happily inside your Dyson.

            I thought I’d give you a recipe which was inspired by James Martin’s veal and cauliflower mash which we saw on one of his tv programmes screened from France. If you’ve not seen these and you love France then I can fully recommend the DVDs, they’re great fun and full of tasty food too.

Marinating Chops

Marinated Pork Chops with Cauliflower Mash

Source: Not really sure but there’s definitely some James Martin influence

Ingredients:

Some really good pork chops from free range pigs (preferably locally sourced)

Fresh Parsley (curled or flat leaf)

Fennel Seeds

Garlic clove (chopped)

Cauliflower

Grated Cheese (I use a good English Cheddar)

1 or 2 lemons

Olive Oil

Here’s how I do it…

Well actually that’s not strictly true because Rob does all the meat part of it but... first you need to prepare your chops. Squeeze the juice from a lemon (you may need two if they’re not so juicy) and combine with some olive oil. Scatter some fennel seeds on your chops along with the chopped parsley and garlic. Pour on some of the oil/lemon juice mix and rub it all over the chops, turn them over in the dish and repeat on the other side. Leave to marinate for at least an hour.

            Heat your oven to gas mark 6 and cook your chops for around fifteen to twenty minutes, seasoning them with salt and pepper just before cooking (don’t season at the beginning of the marinating process as this can dry the meat). If you wish you can brown them first on the hob and this is particularly good for getting a good colour on the fat. 

Prepare your cauliflower by removing the leaves and chopping them – don’t throw them away, the leaf is a really delicious part and this way you have greens as well. Chop the florets and put these into a pan of water. Put the greens into a colander and place this into the pan of water, so it rests on top of the florets. Put the pan lid on top of the greens (inside the colander). Bring the pan to the boil, so that it cooks the florets and steams the greens (if you have a posh steaming pan you can use this of course). When the florets are tender, drain them (you can keep the green leafy pieces in the colander to one side with the lid on so they keep warm). Add some butter to the florets (optional) and mash them – not too much, you want lumpy mash not puree – stirring in your grated cheese at the end so that it melts.

Marinated Chops with Cauliflower Mash

            Plate it up on warmed plates as shown and serve with wine and a good chat.